You Are Not a Burden
A Quick Note
The world, it seems to me, is in chaos. I really don’t think I’m exaggerating. I know I’m not the only one feeling it. I’m actively managing it daily. And there are moments when I am running on the last fumes of hope.
A friend messaged me this week. It went down something like this:
Friend: We have to be very aware of the good in our lives.
Me: Indeed. The world is a fucking shit show.
Friend: I am really struggling.
Me: Me too.
Friend: I know. My biggest struggle is knowing how much of my grief and rage to burden the people I love with. Because nobody is in good shape right now.
Me: [Now texting passionately] I’ve been learning – and practicing – that sharing our vulnerabilities is never a burden. That is a narrative that someone planted in our brains and hearts that keeps us small, silent, and in pain.
More likely, our confidants will say, “Me too.” And then thank us for opening the door. We build connection and, with that, strength. In sharing our stories, we might find a moment of relief. Maybe.
This does not mean that everyone deserves to hear your story and worries. Those who love you – who truly love you – still will.
In speaking and living my truth, I’ve had a few who have distanced themselves from me. A few have essentially left me. I’m OK with that. As Andy reminds me, I have different friends for different parts of me. In opening myself up, I’ve found even deeper connections – like my new writing community.
Let me say loudly: YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN. YOUR FEELINGS AND BELIEFS ARE NOT A BURDEN.
Know that I can listen and hear you. I will not carry your burden, but I will always hold space for you to express it. And I will tell you if I need a break.
That my friend is called friendship.
Me [afterthought]: And let me be clear – it’s fucking hard!
Me [another afterthought]: And…if anyone finds us burdensome, that is fucking on them!
And I might have stuck out my tongue for emphasis.
If you are part of my community (and if you are reading this, you are), let me repeat:
YOU are not a burden. I will hold space for you.
Take a breath and invite someone to talk – or write – or create – or walk – or run – or skip and blow bubbles - or meditate. Connection is our only way through the chaos.
Take note and share: If you need to talk, please dial 988
At the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, we understand that life's challenges can sometimes be difficult. Whether you're facing mental health struggles, emotional distress, alcohol or drug use concerns, or just need someone to talk to, our caring counselors are here for you. You are not alone.
https://988lifeline.org/
Sending all the love energy I can,
Amy
As always… very inspirational. Thank you!!
A good lesson to lean into when you find a friendship is struggling. Thanks for the definition of Friendship, and a lesson on how to check it —-not the person.